j-o-e and the pops (2016)

The year end pop charts were released and I can safely say most of the songs are trash….but there are a few good ones…..

Thus the j-o-e ten best songs of 2016

10. Sorry. Justin Beiber…..with every fiber of my being i cannot stand him but, real talk he is uber talented and this song sticks to ya…..Skrillex did the production and the rest is a jigsaw rhythm of a unique song.

9. You Want It Darker….Leonard Cohen w/Paul Kalkbrenner

When you go out, this is the way to do it….his first song to sniff my top tens (been doing this since 82), the dark lyrics and the moody synths make for a future classic of an unappreciated artist.

8. One Dance. Drake. Sandow loves this track and I like the samba beat. It is ok but top ten worthy in a weird year.

7. Don’t Let me Down. Chainsmokers…..likely my artists of the year, this song and the bigger hit soon to come, ran this year. This song is a good introduction to EDM w the drops and the gracefully tragic vocals.

6. 7 Years. Lukas Graham. Child Star gone international. Decent track, love the strings.

5. I Took a Pill in Ibiza….the finamore of pop music. Posner is a Dukie, who got sick of the fake ass industry and decided to unplug in a van in UT and cross country before writing this hit w a remix to boot…..well written track.

4. Closer. Chainsmokers ….the big hit, with the sultry vocals on the hotel bar…..the Rkelly should’ve sung this track, track….dope hit…..R3habs mix better…..

3. Can’t Stop the Feeling—Timberlake……most years i trash this song, but the song Bruno Mars turned down became JT’s third biggest hit…..he sings it well and its catchier than that zika

2. StarBoy–Daft Punk and the weeknd…Daft Punk gone R n B? its a solid song w/ the weekend’s weirdness…..worthy of number 2 song of the year

1. This is what you came for….

Calvin….Rihanna….Taylor (record scratch) Swift? Pre breakup ? ruh roh…..this duo kill it w/ a song that entices without overkill but, the Taylor Swift co write makes this juicier as one wonders was this bout her other ex Tom Fiddlesticks or whatever his name is…still a classic

 

EDM ran 2016……what will run next year…..hmmmmmm

 

 

Seven Deadlies and the 12 days of Xmas 2

First, the  second day of Xmas…..the true love gave to me? ok I do not want or have or need a true love but, for the sake of the lyrics…let us roll

Two turtle doves? uh cute….but today’s remix, I’d go with two better presidential candidates in 2020…NO KANYE, NO REALITY STAR NONSENSE

on with the Deadlies……and we will do it reindeer style today…the year end seven deadlies will be next week…for now……

Here is a cool chart w the reindeer personas….lets play them reindeer games:

 

ENVY—Vixen…the reindeer who lusts for Rudolph or so someone in this post fact world told me…..has a lot of haters like Cupid (https://holidappy.com/holidays/The-Personalities-of-Santas-Reindeer)

Vixen is the comedic reindeer known for lots of magic tricks. The other reindeer often get slightly annoyed with her (Vixen is not a him unless the have ladyboy deer) ability to make things disappear and reappear.

She’s great at tricking the other reindeer out of their candy canes. She also has a weakness for yummy Santa-shaped chocolates.

Santa, however, happily tolerates Vixen’s tricks because they really come in handy on Christmas Eve. That bag of toys is only so big . . .

Are You Like Vixen?

  • very smart
  • loves to be the center of attention
  • cool, calm, and collected
  • everyone likes to confide in her
  • gifted at magic tricks
  • loves to help others, especially Santa
  • often runs late

LUST—Cupid

Cupid is an affectionate reindeer. She has Christmas reins decorated with red and green little heart-shaped bells. Her motto is “Spread the Love”.

She often carries mistletoes and mysteriously places them all around peoples’ entryways at Christmastime. That way, people don’t forget to hug and kiss during the season.

She’s always singing, too. The other reindeer roll their eyes when she begins singing “Joy to the World” for the thousandth time.

She also makes appearances on Valentine’s day, showering people with red hearts.

Are You Like Cupid?

  • favorite colors are red and green
  • loves jazzy Christmas music
  • really good at finding mistletoe
  • really good with bows and arrows
  • cannot stand it when a friend is sad and will do anything to help
  • loves helping Santa eat his cookies and milk
  • has a sweet tooth, but also likes a good, crunchy carrot

GREED—Rudolph….what people tend to forget is after his red nose became more popular than Kim Kardashian’s ass…..it went to his head…..and he’s a glory hound now…F Rudolph…..this is what is said about old Rudy….

Rudolph is Santa’s famous ninth reindeer. He joined the herd a few years after the original eight. At first, he was terribly self-conscious.

He suffered from low self-esteem because he had an odd red nose. It wasn’t until Santa recognized his rosy bulb as a beacon of light that he was ushered into his role as leader of the herd.

Because his nose glowed, he was able to lead Santa safely around the world, on the snowiest of nights…and other reindeer agreed that Rudolph just had to stay with the herd.

Now, when Rudolph isn’t helping on the sleigh ride, he loves to play Hide and Seek with the other reindeer. He has the advantage, though. He can light up dark places effortlessly and find the other reindeer every time.

Are You Like Rudolph?

  • humble
  • a little shy
  • is a leader when he needs to be
  • loves reindeer games
  • very playful around friends he knows well
  • loves helping others after he gets his (I added this damn right)
  • loves seeing new places
  • steady worker, helping the elves to get all their Christmas tasks done

 

WRATH—Dasher, when he loses a race to any other reindeer cause he fast yo…..

Who hasn’t heard of Dasher?

He’s one of the fastest reindeer in Santa’s herd. He’s always ready to dash out the door. For that reason, he excels at track and field during the off-season.

So, after his yearly tenure at the North Pole, he might find himself at a high school track and field meet, trying to run the 800-yard dash. You can bet he’s usually the first to finish.

“Dasher” originally came from a German name, Dascher, meaning purse-maker. Whoa! He can sew! One has to wonder if he is the Father of the Modern Hand Bag.

Are You Like Dasher?

  • loves to be social
  • good at sports; prefers track and field
  • doesn’t mind the cold
  • aware of fashion
  • loves to party
  • happy
  • has a big heart

GLUTTONY—This dude……Dancer…eats popcorn? what did T.O serve him? read below his bio:

Dancer is a reindeer with a unique personality. He’s completely extroverted. When he’s not helping Santa, he’s having dance parties.

His favorite genre is Latin music due to the strong rhythm. He would be happy to dance with Enrique Iglesias.

Since dancing is his passion, he knows the tango, salsa, meringue, and even has ventured into contra- and square-dancing. Do-si-do-ing can be a little difficult, but he likes it.

Plus, you’ll never find him without a bell around his neck as he never hesitates to indulge in pomp and circumstance.

Are You Like Dancer?

  • has good hand-eye-foot coordination
  • great at dance moves
  • loves wearing colorful clothes
  • popular among the elves
  • loves eating popcorn
  • loves a celebration
  • loves to go to the movies with friends

 

SLOTH—Comet…aka the lazy deer

According to the bio:

Comet is out of this world – as his name implies. He’s quite handsome and always has a smile. He’s easy-going and loves to play ball with all the young fawns.

All the children of the world seem to look up to him. Santa, of course, loves this about Comet.

In the days before Christmas, Santa will head out with Comet to check his list and see how the children all around the world are doing. When they see Comet, they flock to pet him because he’s quite adorable and so laid-back (yup this can be lazy as he may doing lines behind the scenes).

He just loves the attention the children shower upon him. Plus, he inspires little children to be on their best behavior.

Are You Like Comet?

  • loves to make people laugh
  • incredibly smart
  • laid back
  • likes flexibility
  • once he makes up his mind to do something, he’ll get it done
  • always willing to lend a helping hand
  • loves honesty and playing fair

 

PRIDE—Blitzen…..Ego Driven

Blitzen’s name comes from the German word for “lightning”. He’s fast, playful, and like a bolt when it comes to helping Santa deliver his Christmas goodies.

When Santa yells “faster!”, Blitzen has the ability to infuse an electric charge to the other reindeer to make them zap through the sky, fast as lightning. He’s also best reindeer-buds with Donner and they often hum duets to themselves while flying high in the skies.

Are You Like Blitzen?

  • gets everything done extremely fast
  • he’s zippy everywhere he goes
  • has a tenor voice that complements Donner’s baritone
  • when not working, he loves a good Christmas movie
  • always on time
  • almost always finishes projects
  • loves spontaneity

Screw this…..theres no Santa….your parents or some awesome person gives you the gifts…..if you see reindeer pass me what your eating, drinking or smoking…..

 

 

the 12 days of Christmas (or whichever holiday you want to celebrate)

Thank you Gates Mills for the image…..

 

Over here at the hubbubhq, we like holidays….so in the spirit of them, I want to do a 12 days of Xmas in writing form….

There will be lists, three free form articles and two seven deadlies……I will also tie in the j-o-e’s of the year….a.k.a my awards. On with the first day of Xmas….

 

partridge-in-a-pear-tree.jpg

 

A partridge in a pear tree? WTF…..this is way too outdated……my 2016 remix…..how about a 2017 with no of this guy?

kanye.jpg thanks song kick for the photo

He was relevant, hell.. the third most important artist of this century but, now in his Britney Spears (yes she did this second, Mariah did it on MTV no less so she is the godmother of meltdowns) phase….needs to disappear in 2017, then go for that redemption song in 2018….this way no one is OVER him….old people will still rail against them, he can ignore them. Like I do with my editor savant Fin when it comes to today’s music.

 

Meanwhile here’s the second of the j-o-e’s (the first was on Turkey day with the turkeys of 2016) awards….someday I will buy a trophy for this….

the things 2016 brought me that needs to go away…..

16. Justin Beiber (the comeback was nice now go back away, your’e rendering Bruno Mars irrelevant and I aint having this)

15. Optics….I can see damn it, the optics of blah blah blah

14. Hillary Clinton…she lost, and it is her own fault for ignoring the part of the country that can make you beloved or be hated…..her own damn fault…

13. hashtags….when Fin starts using them, uh oh, LOL

12. the dude above… Kanye….

11. the war against football

10. Brexit…..a hybrid of bad words

9. Floyd Mayweather…ok your’e undefeated ok now bye

8. post facts….spin even has a new name UGH….

7. Apple ….yes you’re now Microsoft of 1999….dead for a five year run

6. Cam Newton…man I defended you…..now I cannot no longer…and it is not bout clothing either

5. Peyton Mannings 5000 commercials….he needs to go like yesterday

4. Car’s or truck’s that drive themselves…..well get them here then instead of the five year tease…even if i have to switch careers

3. Phil Jackson as a boss….Lebron just checkmated you for the rest of your career….Kobe nor Michael can save you now

2. Hiphop….dead when there is no new relevant MC and the best of this decade is a two hit wonder (Drake is a hybrid i don’t consider him a true MC)….Kendrick Lamar

1. Obama, the second best president in my lifetime, but, the best couldn’t even get his wife in the big house….WOW…..Bill is so 1990s now….